What Hurts The Most
by DevilsSeriphem
Summary: Before Sasuke leaves Konoha and after Naruto is thinking about a lost friend and maybe even more. Oneshot songfic.


What Hurts The Most

Warnings and Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto neither do I own "WHAT HURTS THE MOST" by: Rascal Flatts.

Summary: Before Sasuke leaves Konoha and after Naruto is thinking about a lost friend and maybe even more.

_Song Lyrics_

**_Flash Back_**  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then, and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

Naruto was sitting quietly on his bed; his head was resting in his hands as he stared at his room a blank expression on his face. The room brought a new meaning to disarray even with its empty contents clothes were scattered about the floor as well as debris from random shattered objects. However; it did not seem to even register to the broken boy on the bed who was more then lost in his own thoughts.

"_**Naruto you're the only one who can bring him back, just promise me you will." Sakura said tears gathering in her eyes.**_

A tear fell out of the sky blue eyes leading a path down his tan cheek. Disregarding the annoying substance that seemed to always find there way to his eyes in his solitude Naruto looked out the window to see birds flying ignorant and happy oblivious of his inner turmoil. It was the first time she had ever noticed him and in the end asked something impossible of him, how could he have possibly believed that Sasuke felt even an increment of what Naruto felt for his stock companion. Sure Sasuke had said that he was the most important person to him but that didn't change the fact that Sasuke wanted him dead. Naruto was sure he was worth more dead then alive but it didn't alleviate any of the pain it caused him. Briefly outside he could hear the patter of rain as it hit his roof, it was a smooth rhythmic and calming sound, and in the end he allowed his tears to follow suite._  
_

_Even though goin' on with you gone, still upsets me  
There are days every now and again  
I pretend I'm okay but that's now what gets me_

Naruto was walking along the streets of Konoha watching the Sakura blooms falling to the ground away from their confinement and let out a long sigh. Shaking his head he continued on his way to the school grounds that he had spent a better part of his childhood. Iruka sensei had asked him to meet up with him after he was done teaching for the day so they could go out and get Ramen like old times. What Iruka Sensei had yet to know was it was no longer the same as it used to be, before Sasuke and Sakura maybe but not now, with all three of them going to Ichiraku and fighting over how no one liked it except the "dobe" as he had so fondly been nicknamed. Yes it wouldn't be like old times the most vital member was missing…

"**_Hey dobe don't you get tired of this junk, it's all you ever eat. Why don't we go out for sushi for once or something different?" Sasuke said trying to persuade the blond to try something new, it was a tiring practice and he was in the mood for real food. But Naruto as expected just smiled the brightest smile he could muster. Sasuke sighed and followed the other boy into the restaurant he had a feeling he would get duped into paying too._**

Naruto smiled the same smile as he watched his old teacher walk up to him and glomped the older man. "Iruka sensei it's about time you were finished I can hardly wait." The blond released the older man and prompted him into following down the well worn path to his favorite restaurant.

Iruka smiled and allowed himself to be dragged to Ichiraku shaking his head only slightly at the younger boy's exuberant attitude. "Naruto you haven't changed a bit." He said affectionately. Naruto hid the hurt behind his eyes by keeping them on the destination. If you only knew Iruka sensei, if you only knew…

_What hurts the most, was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

**_Naruto looked at his stock companion with pleading eyes, blue gazing into obsidian. "Come on Sasuke, let's go train it's a beautiful day out and you can't just waste it by sitting and being a bum all day." He sat waiting for an answer for awhile the brightest smile he could muster on his face. It was the anniversary of the Uchiha massacre and though he understood Sasuke wouldn't want to do anything it was better then leaving him all alone. Either way he really didn't expect an answer from the one he considered his friend._**

**_Naruto sighed allowing his smile to fade a bit and began to turn around to leave. However; much to his surprise he heard the legs of the chair scrape against tile signaling that Sasuke was standing up. "Alright dobe lets go." Naruto turned around his smile in full force again if only for show and began to bound off to their normal training grounds Sasuke in tow._**

_**Naruto's smile had faded completely when he was sure he was ahead so that Sasuke would not notice. His feelings where in turmoil, his heart was bounding in his chest; Sasuke had agreed to go with him for completely platonic reasons he knew it. But in his mind he was praying that it was another reason that caused his companion to follow him a reason less of irritation and more out of… dare he say it love. He wasn't exactly sure when he began to think these thoughts but they had plagued his mind for some time now.**_

**_Naruto had not noticed that he stopped moving until he heard something interrupt his thoughts. "Hey dobe hurry up I don't have all day." With that Naruto watched Sasuke's back as it faded into the tree line. _**

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you  
Everywhere I go, but I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile  
When I see our old friends and I'm alone_

Naruto and his old teacher walked into the noodle bar only to be greeted by Sakura and Ino who were fighting over one thing or another. Shikamaru was sitting to the side trying his hardest to ignore the girls and avoiding being dragged into the argument. Naruto forced his smile to become even brighter then it had been before even if it didn't reach his eyes and dragged his teacher over to the group of his old friends. "Sakura, Ino, and Shikamaru I never expected to see you all here." Waving to them Naruto found a duo of seats by them and made himself as comfortable as he could followed in suite by his sensei.

Both girls turned to Naruto a smile on their faces as they hadn't seen their friend in awhile the fight lay forgotten where it was. He noticed Shikamaru giving him a thankful look at his being able to end the bickering and save him the trouble of breaking it up or being forced to choose a side. His heart lurched even more in his chest, if that was at all possible, noting that no voice had rung in telling to girls to stop being foolish that it was giving him a headache. No one seemed to notice this missing voice and it bothered Naruto the most of all. It was so much a part of him and yet forgotten so easily by the others.

Following the conversation with half an ear Naruto and Iruka ordered some Miso Ramen and sat eating with his former class mates. By the time they were all done they smiled said goodbyes and parted ways as was normal for them. Naruto couldn't help but let his emotions continue in their erratic state in his solitude but his mask so carefully crafted was not allowed to fall until he reached the insides of his apartment._  
_

_Still harder getting up, getting dressed  
Livin' with this regret, but I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved  
In my heart, that I left unspoken_

Naruto rolled over in his bed groaning and pulling the covers over his head in an attempt to block out the light that was now filtering in his room. He knew he would have to get out of bed soon Kakashi sensei had told Sakura and him to meet at the bridge today for training. Yet he couldn't seem to force himself up to get out of bed and get dressed. His stomach growled interrupting his though telling him it wanted breakfast, ignoring that as well Naruto placed his feet on the cold wood floor of his apartment and sat there in his boxers and sleeping cap briefly. Finally forcing himself to stand he went over to his dresser and opened it. Orange, Orange, Orange, and Black he found one of his few different outfits and placed on the black shirt and pants, he didn't feel like wearing his normal clothes today.

Pulling his sleeping cap off he threw it onto his bed and headed for his bathroom. Taking out his toothbrush Naruto brushed his teeth and splashed his face with cold water before looking at himself in the mirror. God he looked like a train wreck he thought to himself before glancing over his shoulder and being met with the very ghost that was haunting him. Blinking his eyes it was gone just as it had appeared and yet he couldn't help but shiver at the icy feeling that traveled up his spine. He should have told him at least that way he would have some answer. Did Sasuke hate him? Could he have ever loved the monstrosity that was Naruto? He was reproachful that those questions would never be answered, this was regret he had his chance and he had blown it.

"**_Sasuke?" Naruto looked imploringly at his friend._**

_**Obsidian eyes met blue momentarily. "What dobe?" Sasuke said hiding the impatience in his own voice.**_

"_**Ah… Well…" Naruto closed his mouth briefly wanting to say what he was there to say but at the same time just smiled and shook his head. "Never mind, hey I'm going home early today see you tomorrow." With that Naruto turned his back and began walking back to his apartment.**_

_What hurts the most, was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

**_Naruto could feel his body protesting movement but managed to open his eyes and survey his surroundings. So it wasn't all just a bad dream he thought as his eyes saw the crystalline mirrors that surrounded Naruto and Sasuke in their fight with Haku. Pushing himself up on his hands a bit Naruto could see Sasuke's form in front of him._**

"_**Geez… all you ever do is get in the way…" Sasuke said feeling his body begin to droop.**_

_**Naruto quickly registered Haku's form in front of them on the ground struggling to rise. "Sasuke you…!" Naruto said his face quickly going from happy to shock as he saw Sasuke sag slightly and the blood came into view.**_

"**_What's… with that face… you moron…" Sasuke said gasping for breath in between his words._**

**_"Why…" You saved me the thought ran through his mind as he stared unbelievingly at the Uchiha boy. "But… But… Why? Why me?" the words were soft barely carrying between the two boys. He could hear Sasuke chuckle softly but noticed that he never turned his head in the direction of Naruto. "I never asked for your help!" Naruto screamed now the feeling of numbness spreading through his body._**

**_"I don't know… my body just moved on it's own… dobe" Sasuke said as he collapsed into Naruto's arms not even sure anything would be there to catch him but to weak to care._**

**_Sasuke said something else but nothing more registered in the blonds mind all he could see was the eyes close and feel a shuttering breath that seemed to short be drawn into his companion's chest. I find you have a heart you cold bastard and you die on me, will I never see anything but your back…_**

**_Briefly he registered movement in Haku's direction but ignored it. "I love you… but I hated you too." Naruto whispered to the boy's body in his arms and looked up directly into Haku's gaze as Haku went on speaking. None of the words registered but Naruto could feel the rage spread through his body as he began to be enveloped by an immense chakra. "Shut up!" Naruto shouted through fangs. "I won't forgive you! I will kill you!" He shouted at the other boy and allowed his rage to consume him. _**

Jiraiya-sama looked down at Naruto. "Hey brat; are you coming or do I have to drag you? Even Tsunade agrees that it would be a good idea to let you see a little bit more of the world and train some more anyway. Know this though we only have three years."

Naruto nodded but remained silent for a moment. "Yeah I'm coming I was just waiting on you, you old perv." With that he grinned his best and ran off towards the gates of Konoha.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sasuke stared out at the sound village; everyone was walking to and fro preparing for their little petty battles. No one noticed the things that went on behind closed doors here, not that they would care either. It had been a year since he had left Konoha and he clung desperately to any news he heard of his friends. The only one of his friends he had not heard anything about was Naruto it was as if he disappeared of the face of the Earth. That on it's own was unbelievable because what would the world be like without the sun in it, how would the moon get along with out it's companion.

**_The light that was shining in the valley of the end for some reason chose to envelope Naruto and Sasuke in a single sunbeam. Naruto lay there on the ground eyes closed and face void of his always present smile. Sasuke could see the sun glint off the golden locks of hair which seemed even brighter if possible then the sun. But what was soon began to fade, Sasuke could feel his head band slip and hit the ground after it hit the ground it was soon followed by droplets of rain. "Naruto…. I…" Sasuke sighed and turned his face up welcoming the rain to wash away everything that just happened, to wash away his tears. After a moment of standing there in the rain looking skyward he felt the pain finally wrack through his body, coughing he tasted the familiar metallic taste of blood as he spit it out on the ground. Sasuke allowed himself to collapse to the earth next to the blond angel, when the pain finally subsided enough Sasuke looked down directly to the face of the one he couldn't help but to love. Tears continued down his cheeks until he heard a sound off in the distance. Finally allowing his face closer to the other boys he placed a soft kiss on Naruto's lips and was gone with and instant. "… will find my own way to become strong, I wont kill him!" Sasuke walked off talking to his brother's ghost. What he would never know is Naruto had heard the last words, and watched his back once again as it faded into the forest._**

Sasuke was still staring off into the distance when he was joined by Orochimaru's right hand man Kabuto. "Akatsuki is on the move again, and we need you to go spy on them Sasuke after all you may be able to see your brother." Sasuke just nodded and stood up; he had long since stopped talking but followed orders like the faithful dog he was supposed to be. When the three years were up he would have gained everything he could from Orochimaru and he would leave with his head on a silver platter, until then he would become stronger.

Sasuke listened carefully as he was briefed about his mission nodding now and then to assure Kabuto that he was listening. When the older boy stopped satisfied that Sasuke knew all he was supposed to he turned and walked away knowing the boy would be gone if he turned around. Kabuto was right, after he had stopped talking Sasuke had set off to the village of waves where he had died only years earlier. It had been three years since he had seen the village and the people he had come to know, unfortunately he knew they would never be able to know he was there… after all he was a missing nin.

It was at least two days travel to the village of waves when he at last arrived he was fully cloaked no tell tale signs of the ebony hair or obsidian eyes were evident, feeling confident no one would recognize him he made a camp on the outskirts and went into town to gather information. Though from his first day in the village Sasuke turned up nothing he knew all he had to do was go to the right place and ask the right questions… he just didn't know what they were. Close to dusk Sasuke decided he was hungry and went to one of the shops to get some food to take back to his camp. As he walked into the small shop he noticed no one seemed to be in it other than an older man and a young woman with long brown hair, a village of leaf head band, and most curious of all eyes that he could swear he knew. Looking closer he studied the female, though small of frame she had enough well hidden muscles that it looked like she could take care of herself and she was grinning widely at the man whom she was holding conversation; that smile… This woman reminded him so much of Naruto, even the chakra she was emitting but at the same time hers was not the blue he was so used to it was a faint purple. Shaking his head he went and bought some rice cakes and Sushi then left but caught himself hiding in the ally way waiting for the girl to make her exit.

When the young woman came out Sasuke followed her until he felt safe that they were far enough from civilization that he would not risk getting caught when he stopped her Sasuke walked out of the shrubbery and "accidentally" bumped into her sending his bags to the ground followed by the woman. "Hnn, watch where you're going!" Sasuke scolded not bothering to hide his voice which after puberty had become several octaves lower.

Holding his hand out to the blushing woman he helped her up but didn't let go of her hand. "I feel as though I've met you somewhere." He said staring into wide blue eyes, Naruto's blue.

"Well silly one could hardly know if they have met you covered up with that cloak as you are." She stated her smile claiming her lips again but he could feel her tense as he had yet to let go of her hand.

Sasuke not knowing how, but after so many years watching the boy from afar just could feel it was him. Still holding her hand in his he used the other to remove the hood, and though much had changed from the valley of the end there was no mistaking the Uchiha boy. "Naruto?" He asked forming it as a question even though he knew the answer.

The blue eyes widened even more and were now filling with tears, which were quickly blinked back. "N-No you must be mistaking me for someone else, I heard the boy you are mentioning died there has been no word to our village of him for a long while now." The girl shook her head and tried to pull away but the grip from the Uchiha boy only tightened it and was now pulling her towards him.

"Dobe you didn't hide your eyes, no one has those eyes." Sasuke said pulling the trepid girl into a hug. "I was so afraid that the rumors were true, I'd heard of everyone but you; where have you been?"

Naruto shrugged allowing his guise to drop as well as his guard; he couldn't help it this was what he had dreamed of for a long time now. Sighing he allowed him to feel Sasuke's warmth and smell the earthly scent that was only him. "But why? Why are you here? Why did you come after me?"

Sasuke took a deep breath and thought for a moment, why… Why was he here? He was on a mission that he knew but why had he felt so compelled to follow the angel that haunts his dreams. "Well for one I am on a mission Akatsuki is here and I was sent as a spy… for another because…" Sasuke laughed gently and began singing the words to a song he heard recently in the sound village.

"_What hurts the most, was bein' so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away  
And never knowin' what could've been  
And not seein' that lovin' you  
Is what I was tryin' to do"_

"_And not seein' that loving you _  
_That's what I was tryin' to do" _Naruto smiled into Sasuke's chest as he finished off the last verse of the song that Sasuke's deep voice had begun to sing. "Who knew the bastard was a romantic." Naruto laughed and shook his head. "We are hopeless aren't we, and even though I know we will both walk away again promise me you will come back. I don't need you to come back now you finish what you have to, I myself will be gone for at least another two years and though I will be alive no one will hear from me. But… promise me we will find out what could have been." Naruto was now looking into Sasuke's eyes imploringly hoping that they could have now with a promise of later he could take that, it would be enough for now.

Sasuke smiled the first smile Naruto had ever seen on those lips, and though a part of him wanted to kiss him silly another part was falling ever so deeper. "I can promise now, I am here and I have time no one is wondering where I am… As for later I can try my hardest but Naruto I refuse to make a promise that though I have all intentions of keeping I can't know for sure I will be able to…" Sasuke watched Naruto nod and then allow his eyes to fall as they began to gather with tears once more. Sasuke's hand had now found it way to Naruto's cheek, his thumb caressing the silken skin, then allowing it to drop a centimeter he pulled Naruto's face back up so he was looking into bottomless blue again. Moving there faces closer Sasuke closed his eyes and allowed his lips to claim the other boys.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning when Sasuke awoke the warmth that had curled up next to the night previously was gone; he did not have to look around to know Naruto had left with dawn's first rays and he didn't mind because it was enough to just have him that night. Looking over to where the other boy once was he saw a Kunai on the blade was a carving of a fox and attached to it a note.

_To what was, what is, and what will be… I will see you again._

Endness -

DS: To those of you reading my other story I am still working on it but you must know I have a very short attention span and get distracted easily but have no fear I very rarely leave anything unfinished. CIAO for now.


End file.
